keskiviikko 12. kesäkuuta 2013

relationships

Friday morning when I woke up, I started thinking about relationships that I've made here. I've got so many new friends and people I like I don't wanna think about going home, not for a moment ....

Just the thought when I woke up that I have to leave all this in less than three months drove me crazy. I almost had tears in my eyes. A life without T, my best friend here, and all of our super fun going out nights is going to be hard. We both want to stay here, but America makes everything so complicated. It's not easy to get a work visa being us. And we came to a conclusion that it's easier to get married than get a work visa. There's something wrong with that!!! I'm seriously just thinking about getting married to a rich American so I can get a stupid green card. Only thing now is, I need to find the rich American who I would like and who could do that. HAHA. Not easy I can tell you that : D Actually we have a deal with Luke already that we could do it so maybe I seriously have to talk to him about it. Hope no one seriously thinks I'm considering this right now cause it's kind of a joke. I just want to stay in America so bad, I could do it if I found someone. Maybe not immediately now, but after a while! 

During these past nine months I've become friends with so many girls here, it's definitely gonna be a big change to go back to my lovely Finnish friends. Might be a teeny tiny shock at first but I bet I can get used to it. Only thing is, I don't want to. I don't want to leave. On the other hand, if I didn't have these girls here, I think I'd think differently. Meaning that part of why I love to be here is because of the girls. If I was alone here, with no one, I bet it'd feel different and might even feel like going back home. Still I can't imagine my life without them. Me and all the closest au pairs for me are going home around August / September so might be better.

This has been the most amazing journey of my life and I never wanna forget about it. Never. I don't wanna forget about the people but keep them in my life after America. Everything I've been through here has made me become a stronger person and really think what matters to me the most in life. All the ups and downs have taught me things that I took for granted. Every single person has taught me something, some have a bigger place in my heart than others, but the point is, without them, my year would've looked completely different. Even the guys I've met and hung out with have been an important part of my year. Without all the fooling around who knows what I'd be like. All the stupid mistakes I made with them. Everything happens for a reason!!! I want to think that ..... 

After these three months, I wanna look back, and say I did everything I wanted to do and there's nothing I regret about the things I did or didn't do. It's gonna be so darn hard to leave since I've become such an American already. I think I'm gonna ignore the fact that I'll be living in Finland, and just keep on talking and acting like a total American hahaa. Should be fun. 

Point of all this, is that the people I have here, make me feel so much better and feel good about myself. Most of the time at least. Every single person on their own make life better. I need  a bunch of support when I go back from everyone since I know deep inside that my heart belongs here in Colorado ♥ I'll just leave one word for you : HAPPINESS ! 

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